There are stigmas that are a trap. One stigma in particular comes to mind: You appear weak when you ask for help.
When I reached high-school, I not only fell into that trap of a stigma, but I lived in it. I began to feel like I had to be self-sufficient all the time and every time. In high-school, I could do everything myself. I managed my time, handed in my assignments on time, I got to class on time, I juggled extracurriculars, studying, sleep, and eating. I was a pro. And then I came to Villanova. Let me tell you, college is not high-school. I felt stressed all the time. I forced myself to study every minute of the day that I possibly could to the point where I felt guilty for even taking time to eat. I would spend time with friends and in between my laughter, I would feel anxious over how much homework I could have been doing instead. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't enjoy myself. I couldn't live without feeling guilty about living. That isn't how college is supposed to be. That isn't how life is supposed to be. My experience wasn't this way because of how heavy of a workload college was giving me (although, you do have to put in some serious work), but because I felt overwhelmed. My first year would have probably gone much better if I had known what I know now: It is okay to ask for help. There is no weakness in asking for help. The number of benefits in waiting to ask for help after you are so deep in trouble that it's almost too late is zero. Don't wait. Don't be afraid. I'm in my sophomore year now and my story has changed. I can breathe. I can laugh with friends and enjoy every minute of it. Today, I took off three hours just to do a DIY craft. I don't have to feel guilty for taking time to myself. And, that's partly because I have learned to ask for help. I have learned to reach out when I start to feel overwhelmed or burnt out. I reach out to the people I know who will reach back. Find those people and hold onto them. Reach out to them, make sure they know they can reach out to you. Take care of yourself by asking for help. In a world where we are always fighting, climbing, struggling, and living, we don't have to do it alone. -Cassia
1 Comment
|
AuthorESSeSWomen of the African Diaspora writing for the empowerment of the next generation. Archives
March 2018
Categories
All
|